Grief is a tricky one. We can be good at dealing with it at times and other times not so much. The anniversaries and birthdays are always some of the hardest days in grief. One of the biggest losses that I have had is losing my sister. She passed in a fatal car accident in 2007. Over the years I started to mourn her loss. It's been weird to me that it was as I was getting older that I even started to grieve and miss her, but come to find out, that is actually a form of grief. Delayed grief. I lost Danika when I was only 4. I didn't know or understand at the time what was going on. It's only been in the past few years that I have actually started to grieve her loss. This year, it started to really hit me as her birthday came up, and I wanted to memorialize her passing in some way. I ended up doing a memorial in my group therapy, where I was surrounded by a group of supportive and caring women and read a poem and letter I had written. I also got a memorial tattoo and, on her birthday, I got a cake and read another little piece of writing while the candle on the cake burned.
8,400. 8,400 days since you entered this world. 7,430 days since I entered this world. 1,696 days we spent on this earth together. 1,695 days we were given the chance to love and know each other. It's been 5,775 days since you passed. 5,775. 5,775 days since I lost you, my best friend. 5,775 days since I lost you, who would've been my ride or die. 5,775 days since I started having this missing piece in my life. 5,775 days since you left this earth. 5,775 days since you gained your wings. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you, miss you greatly, or feel the pain and sadness of your absence. Today you would be turning 23, but just like all of them since number 8, you're celebrating up there instead of down here. I miss you so much Happy birthday Danika.
(dates and numbers calculated for April 13, 2023)
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