It Works If You Work It

"Keep coming back, it works if you work it, so work it because you're worth it." That's how every single meeting ends each week. Being an anonymous program and organization, it's not always discussed, but in all actuality, it is something everyone struggles with to some extent. Codependency. Everyone has those scary words, and for me, one of them is that c-word. Codependency. According to coda.org, codependency is a "a disease that deteriorates the souls." Joining any sort of recovery program isn't an easy decision, and sticking with it isn't any easier. When I was first introduced to the idea that I was codependent, I was in a little bit of denial. I didn't think I was, but I went ahead and gave the program a chance. I was at a point in my treatment and healing that I felt I didn't have anything to lose and thought, "what could it hurt" if I went. Worst case scenario, I went and it wasn't the right fit and I never go back. But I decided to go. I looked up and did some research on the topic and searched for an open meeting in the area. I found one, which happened to be going on the next day, and I went. It was a room full of strangers and I just sat there in silence while listening to all these other people talk about their journey and where they are in their codependency. I didn't quite believe it was for me at first, but the longer I sat there, the more I started this internal questioning of if I was actually codependent, and for how long I have been codependent. Outside of the meeting, I looked more into the different patterns, and that only confirmed be being codependent. 

Different Types of Codependent Patterns:

April 11, 2023 I stepped foot into my first meeting and soon after committed to my recover in the realm of my codependency. It hasn't always been an easy journey, but in time, I started noticing more and more of my behaviors and grew the strength and capability to not act in them anymore. Now yes, I still fall into the behaviors from time to time, no one is perfect, but the difference now is that I can recognize and correct it. I started to meet the milestones, 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 6 months, and 9 months. Before I knew it, I was coming up on my 1 year mark of being in the program. By this point in my recovery, I had also taken the step to do service work at the state level and volunteer. In my time of recovery, I haven't always been consistent. Sometimes it's hard to get to a meeting every single week of your life, and it's even more so challenging when you move away from the city the meeting happens in. Sometimes you just really don't want to go, and the driving distance is the perfect excuse. It's gotten to a point though that I can notice a difference in the weeks that I go. This program has become my community, an extra added support to my system. Healing and recovery is possible. It works if you work it.